 If I were to ever be granted wishes from a genie, one would be that I could live my life over again but keep the knowledge and experience I have gained so far. Imagine the possibilities right? Oh the mistakes I could avoid, like the time in kindergarten when I was too afraid to ask my teacher for help untying my plastic Spiderman costume so I could use the toilet. Yeah, that fear didn't save me twenty minutes later in the play area of the classroom. Or all those times during my school years I was too inept or anxious to talk with a girl without forgetting the English language. What in the world was I afraid of anyway? Here’s one that really hurts, I had an opportunity to buy a three bedroom condo in San Diego in 1999 for $111,000 and didn't pursue it. That same condo is worth over $350,000. So yeah, I could go on, but suffice it to say, I don’t relate well to people who say they have no regrets. That’s fine, I do. But I don’t let those regrets paralyze me. I am learning to use regret to my own advantage. Not too long ago, I found myself on the outside looking in on full-time employment. For a year I had planned on receiving some training on clinical hypnosis. It was a significant investment and then I lost 2/3 of my income. It’s times like those when you need to cut back on as many expenses as possible, right? I was also right in the middle of a house renovation that I was doing mostly on my own and a year prior to that, my wife had our first baby and we decided that it was best for her to be at home with our little girl. For years I had always wished and wanted to attend the clinical hypnosis training from Dr. Michael Yapko, but I always put it off, mostly due to the expense. Now I was really in a financial crunch just days before the first day of training. Ultimately we decided this was a perfect time to invest in myself. Somehow we would make it work. My regrets from my past actually helped make that decision. Too many times in the past I had talked myself out of this sort of thing. The results from that decision to follow through have had a positive impact on myself and the clients I work with. Since that training, I have used guided imagery or hypnosis to facilitate more impactful change for my clients. Like the adolescent client who sought help for depression the day after being released from the hospital for suicidal threats. I conducted a session utilizing guided imagery where they were able to experience more profound ways to cope. Two sessions later we had nothing to talk about because they were doing so well. No medication needed. Another example of using hypnosis was when I worked with an adult with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). She was destroying her career and marriage because she was paralyzed by the need to continually clean her house. After one session of hypnosis she found immediate relief. Out of the next seven days, she only cleaned twice. While these results may not always be typical, they aren't exactly rare either. (I can’t share details to protect confidentiality, but I use these examples of how regret has helped me change my future as well as those I work with.) Marketing professionals use your regret to their advantage all day every day, why not pursue it for your own good rather than fill someone else’s pockets? |
So how can you utilize your own regret?
1. Believe it is possible that you can take corrective action. Almost anything is possible, Baby Boomers on average held 11 jobs from the ages of 18 to 46. That was back when careers were more stable. Utilizing regret to make a new career choice is more common than you might think.
2. Utilize the regret to help fuel motivation, use it like the tool it really is.
3. Learn how to take an effective course correction. Focus! Move from global to specific. From big picture to focusing in on what you can do today. If you have regrets in romance, think of how you can make your marriage or relationship a little better today, not ten times better, just a little better. Accept a compliment, expressi appreciation for the expected or mundane, “thanks for paying the power bill.” Just try it. Focus on one thing at a time. Focusing requires compartmentalization. Stop trying to multitask your most important relationship.
If you regret that you are not more social, ask yourself where it might be easiest for yourself to make some progress. Saying “Hello!” to coworkers and asking them about their weekend might be a good start to gain momentum.
If you want to overcome your regret of being disorganized, then declutter your office at home; put some music on and start throwing stuff away you know you don’t need – start with the easy stuff to gain momentum.
If you regret your inconsistent exercise habits, establish your schedule so you go to bed at a decent time, that’s right, put your phone down, turn the TV off, wake up at an early hour and get some exercise before the morning is gone. It starts with the bedtime routine, establish that and surprise yourself with the new energy you have to gain momentum.
I don’t mean to oversimplify regrets. These are just a few suggestions of how to use them to your advantage. You might as well, others take advantage of your regrets all the time. What can you start on today?
1. Believe it is possible that you can take corrective action. Almost anything is possible, Baby Boomers on average held 11 jobs from the ages of 18 to 46. That was back when careers were more stable. Utilizing regret to make a new career choice is more common than you might think.
2. Utilize the regret to help fuel motivation, use it like the tool it really is.
3. Learn how to take an effective course correction. Focus! Move from global to specific. From big picture to focusing in on what you can do today. If you have regrets in romance, think of how you can make your marriage or relationship a little better today, not ten times better, just a little better. Accept a compliment, expressi appreciation for the expected or mundane, “thanks for paying the power bill.” Just try it. Focus on one thing at a time. Focusing requires compartmentalization. Stop trying to multitask your most important relationship.
If you regret that you are not more social, ask yourself where it might be easiest for yourself to make some progress. Saying “Hello!” to coworkers and asking them about their weekend might be a good start to gain momentum.
If you want to overcome your regret of being disorganized, then declutter your office at home; put some music on and start throwing stuff away you know you don’t need – start with the easy stuff to gain momentum.
If you regret your inconsistent exercise habits, establish your schedule so you go to bed at a decent time, that’s right, put your phone down, turn the TV off, wake up at an early hour and get some exercise before the morning is gone. It starts with the bedtime routine, establish that and surprise yourself with the new energy you have to gain momentum.
I don’t mean to oversimplify regrets. These are just a few suggestions of how to use them to your advantage. You might as well, others take advantage of your regrets all the time. What can you start on today?
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