Pornography Addiction

Apparently, pornography use
is a problem…

Research and my own experience as a counselor indicate that pornography use by a husband, results in lower self-worth in his female spouse.

Since I first started working as a therapist in 2000, I have worked with hundreds of clients over the years who have been devastated by the effects of pornography use in their relationships.

In case you haven’t noticed… it’s really difficult to stop.

When adults meet with me and they report having a problem stopping pornography, they typically were exposed as early as 7 years-old, and it became a significant problem by adolescence.

They tried to stop, maybe were successful at some point, but it came back when they least expected it. Does this fit or come close to your experience?

Most of the clients I have worked with have similar experiences, and then there is the pattern of binge and purge. You know, you watch free porn for X amount of time, and then a relapse hits and it hits hard, maybe on a business trip or a weekend alone after doing good so long.

Research has also shown that porn affects the same processing centers in the brain as alcohol and other drugs.

It affects you in so many subtle, powerful ways.

A recovering addict once described to me what he learned from an inpatient 30-day drug rehab clinic. He put it perfectly: Addiction is the opposite of connection.

The ability to empathize appears to be inhibited for many people. You become more selfish with your time.

You forget the little things like your child’s dance recital. You fail to notice that your wife got her hair done. I’ve seen many addicts lose out on promotions at work, or many are underemployed or even unemployed. Not necessarily as a direct result of using porn, but it just draws your attention away from the people with whom you interact.

Shame controls you, and you get defensive over little things. It somehow reinforces your own insecurities about yourself – that you’re not good enough.

In many cases, the porn problem…

… isn’t just about the porn or sex, is it?

Most of the men I have worked with found that their porn addiction or use increased after they got married, even though their sexual needs were being met, usually. In fact, many men have admitted that even if their wife was a Victoria’s Secret model, the problem would still be there and may even be worse.

Porn, like any drug, is an escape from the typical triggers – BLAST:

Boredom

Loneliness

Anger

Stress

Tired

Most triggers fall under the umbrella of these five areas. Underlying these triggers is that tired old feeling or belief that you’re not good enough. If that is the case for you, this needs to be addressed for a successful outcome.

How do you know when someone is in a solid recovery? They demonstrate more consistent confidence. They have follow-through in different areas of their life. They feel more connected. They are honest all the time. They don’t use avoidance when they face a problem or challenge. They haven’t replaced the porn with some other escape like video games or binge-watching Netflix.

We’ll address it all for a happier outcome for you.

We’ll look at all sorts of barriers to overcoming the porn problem and use some of the best tools possible to help you overcome it.

We’ll look at external and internal barriers to relapse. External barriers are things like porn blockers on your browser, passwords on devices, your routine, etc. Internal barriers are your deep reasons why you want to stop and what you want to replace the porn with – finding what you’re really looking for instead of the porn.

We’ll assess your routine, sense of purpose, how you make decisions on meaningful interactions and connections. Your routine might be one of the easiest things to control or change, and being proactive with free time where most relapses occur will eliminate opportunities to relapse.

Your sense of purpose, when it’s solid, guides your decision making throughout the day. How you make decisions with the people you care about will amplify your love and connection with them and enable you to feel empathy toward others, the side effect being you objectify others less. This includes objectifying women on the Internet.

If you’re up to it, we’ll utilize hypnotherapy tools to enhance your abilities. Hypnotherapy just taps into that powerful part of your mind that seems to control what you focus on and what you believe about yourself. I can even make a recording for you to listen to which will help you absorb a stronger belief in your ability to stay free.

You’re worth it… your life is worth it.

You probably already know that overcoming porn alone is frustrating.

Put aside pride and make an appointment with me.

Call me when you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired: (801) 472-8442.